March 5, 2015
It was a touching MPA moment, one where I had tears in my eyes. I saw it all unfold from a distance as Ms. LaChapelle pulled two boys aside to resolve an apparent disagreement. “It’s okay. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that we learn from them,” she said as she pulled the two unhappy children into a warm embrace.
I thought I would take a different approach with this week’s Head of School message and share with you what I’m reading these days, The Rise: Creativity, The Gift of Failure and the Search for Mastery by Sarah Lewis. Sarah Lewis was one of the keynote speakers at the recent conference of the National Association of Independent Schools I attended last week in Boston. I was so struck by her address that I stood in a long line afterwards to purchase her book and have it autographed. I quickly devoured it, even while standing in line, and have continued to ponder her thoughtful, almost spiritual, reflections and findings on creativity.
The “propulsion of the near win”, according to Sarah Lewis, is one of several prerequisites of creativity and mastery. She writes, “the gift of failure is a riddle.” Like the number zero, it will always be both a void and the start of infinite possibility.” Mastery requires endurance. It is not perfectionism and is not the same as success. It is rather a constant pursuit. Perfectionism and success both eschew failure and view it as a weakness. Mastery, however, embraces the “near win” and failure as not an end in itself but a means to achieve mastery. Other ideas, such as the importance of play in achieving innovation, the importance of grit, creative practice and the power of surrender, are all crucial to creativity, according to Lewis.
Fear of failure and society’s dogged pursuit of perfectionism are likely causes of the rise of depression and anxiety among our children. Rather than allow our children to fail, adults do all we can to prevent it. However, failure is critical to learning and innovation. Thomas Edison told his assistant that in his attempt of creating the incandescent light bulb, “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
We adults, both parents and educators, have to allow our children to fail. In fact, we have to ensure that they do.
