December 1, 2022
from Mark Segal, Upper School director
One of the quintessential experiences of being a high school student is attending school dances. Recent research shows that high schoolers can spend up to nine hours a day connected to digital media, including social apps and streaming services (“Higher Ed Dive”). School dances, however, provide an outlet for in-person social interaction and development. In my more than a quarter of a century of attending school-sponsored dances, I have witnessed an increase in school spirit and positive social interactions in the weeks preceding and following dances.
At MPA, we hold four dances per year (Homecoming, Semi-Formal, SnoDaze, and Prom), and this coming Saturday evening, the Semi-Formal Dance will be held at Prestwick Golf Club. If history is any indication (and ticket sales have been strong), more than 75% of the Upper School student population will dress up and attend. Our students’ approach to dances is very different than what is experienced at other schools. There is no pressure applied to attend with a date. More often than not, students attend with their friend groups. For dances like the Semi-Formal, students often meet for dinner beforehand and arrive with beaming smiles “fashionably late” (yet before the 9:30 PM arrival deadline). Another thing that sets MPA dances apart from what I have experienced in other environments is that the students actually dance (aka a cluster of students bouncing in harmony).
With the dance scheduled for this weekend, I find myself reflecting on the possibility of Upper School students being placed into situations where they may have to make difficult decisions. Nothing is more valuable to a teenager than their friends, and nothing is more valuable to parents than the safety of their children. Unfortunately, these two don’t always interact well with one another. Sometimes, even the best kids encounter situations where alcohol and drug use occur, and our children could find themselves in an environment with unexpected expectations.
There is no doubt that alcohol and drug usage is common risk-taking behavior during adolescence, and unfortunately, MPA students are not immune. Often this behavior happens at home or school, right under our supervision. It is important that adults send a clear and consistent message that any illegal use of drugs or alcohol is forbidden.
As a school administrator, I have been asked for advice on handling parties that often follow school dances. Based on my more than 25 years of working with students, please find below a few tips to consider:
If your child has been invited to a party:
- Let your child know that you will be calling the family hosting the party to learn about the gathering and to see if you can assist with anything.
- If your child’s party plans suddenly evaporate, maybe that wasn’t an appropriate party.
- If you make the call, great; you are now connected with another family and can discuss expectations for the party.
- Discuss with your child your expectations of them attending the party.
- Have a “code word or phrase” between you that means, “I need to be picked up.”
- Be sure you have the address and phone number of the house where the party is taking place.
- Avoid sleepovers. The longer the evening, the higher the probability of risky behavior and the less likely the parent chaperones are still awake.
- If you hear about a party after the fact, call the family to thank them for hosting the gathering.
- If you find out they didn’t know about it and, as a matter of fact, that they were out of town, you now have a connection and valuable information.
- If you hear about alcohol or drugs at a party, I encourage you to call the host family and let them know what you heard. Think about what you would want to know if the party was at your house.
If you are hosting the party:
- Have a start and stop time. Be aware of curfew laws, the safety of adolescents driving when bars are closing, and the risk of newer drivers driving late in the night and in winter weather.
- Do not offer an open invitation; host only invited guests. Ask your child to share the list of those they invited.
- Word of a party spreads quickly in the age of social media!
- Proximity control matters. Parents should be at home, awake, and making occasional trips through the party area. Consider inviting other parents to host or supervise the party with you.
- No one should be allowed to leave the party and return.
- If students know that drugs and alcohol are not allowed in your home, their cars could become an alternative location for poor decisions to be made.
I am excited to see the students at the Semi-Formal Dance this weekend, and thank you, in advance, for all you do to support your children. The most important message our children need to hear is that the adults in their lives care about them and are communicating to keep them out of harm’s way.
I look forward to seeing you on campus soon.
Important Information
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- Winter Parent/Student/Teacher Conferences are scheduled for tonight (3:30-8 PM) and tomorrow (8 AM-4 PM). Upper School students do not have classes are expected to attend and participate in their conferences. As a reminder, each conference is scheduled for 10 minutes, and we ask that you do your best to help us stay on schedule, recognizing that most teachers are scheduled back-to-back for several hours, and most Upper School families are making their way through conferences. If you find that you will need additional time with a teacher, we ask you to schedule another time to continue that conversation outside of the conference window. If you have not scheduled a conference, please do not “drop-in” on a teacher as they have not prepared for your conference and have other families who are likely waiting. As the pickAtime conference registration window is closed, please reach out to teachers individually to schedule a time.
- The Upper School Parents Association will hold its second meeting of the school year Wednesday, December 14 at 8 AM. The meeting will be held in the Porter Conference Room (PCR) located in the Head of School suite. Beyond sharing information about the beginning of the second quarter and items to look forward to, director of college counseling, Lisa Pederson, and college counselor, Justin Quam, will join us to speak about how they support MPA students through college search process. We look forward to seeing you for light refreshments, connection, and camaraderie.
- If your student will be absent, late, or needs to be excused early from school, please reach out to Upper School administrative assistant Chanda Williams at cwilliams@moundsparkacademy.org.
Looking Ahead
- Thursday, December 1: Upper School Conferences, 3:30-8 PM
- Friday, December 2: No Upper School Classes, Lower and Middle School DO Have Classes
- Friday, December 2: Upper School Conferences, 8 AM-4 PM
- Saturday, December 3: Upper School Semi-Formal Dance, 8:30-11 PM, Prestwick Golf Club
- Saturday, December 3: Upper School Parent Dinner, 8-10 PM, India Palace
- Tuesday, December 6: Senior Performances, 8-9:15 AM, Recital Hall
- Wednesday, December 7: MPA Founders’ Day Pancake Breakfast, 7-8 AM, Family Commons
- Wednesday, December 14: Upper School Parents Association Meeting, 8-9 AM, PCR
- Thursday, December 15: Senior Performances, 8-9:15 AM, Recital Hall
- Friday, December 16: MPA Holiday Caroling, 7:30-8 AM, MPA Campus
- Friday, December 16: Winter Break Begins at 2:50 PM
- Tuesday, January 3: Classes Resume at 8 AM
- Friday, January 13: End of Quarter 2/Semester 1
- Monday, January 16: No Classes, Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday
- Tuesday, January 17: No Classes, Faculty Professional Day
- Wednesday, January /18: Quarter 3/Semester 2 Begins
