September 18, 2025
from Mark Segal, Upper School director
In today’s world, whether on the sidelines of a game, in the carpool line, or online via email or text, it can feel easier to share frustrations with a friend than to address the concern directly with the person involved. Yet one of the most valuable lessons we can model for our children is the importance of speaking to someone rather than about them. Direct, respectful communication not only strengthens relationships but also builds the foundation of trust, collaboration, accountability, and a sought-after partnership in our school community.
Research consistently shows the power of this practice. A study in the “Journal of Social and Personal Relationships” found that indirect communication, such as gossip or side conversations, often intensifies conflict instead of resolving it. Popular psychologist Dr. Brené Brown shares, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” This is a practice that we at MPA are working on as we realize that speaking openly, even when uncomfortable, shows respect and creates space for genuine understanding.
This lesson is especially important for upper school students, who are still developing the social and emotional skills they will carry into adulthood. A study in the “Journal of Adolescent Development” found that teenagers who practice direct communication with peers and adults demonstrate higher emotional intelligence and better conflict resolution skills. When students see adults model this behavior, they are more likely to approach challenges with courage, compassion, and problem-solving rather than avoidance or blame. Read More